Be Fair

The Problem With Fairness

When one of my three children comes to me and says, “My brother got an ice cream I want one too,” like any mother I would like to be fair and give them an ice cream. But what if there is no more ice cream? What if all of the ice cream stores went out of business last night? What if the child did not eat their supper? What if the child asking for the ice cream just punched his brother and provoked a fight?

There are any number of reasons why it may not be the right thing, or the convenient thing or the best thing to give this child ice cream right now. If I have raised my child with the expectation that fairness will prevail I have now set myself up for failure as a parent and I have set up my child for failure in life.

Life Is Not Fair

I believe it is an important life lesson to teach my children that life is not fair. No savior is coming on a white horse to save them from the realities that they face. People get sick and there is nothing fair about it. People die. Pets die. Sometimes another child gets the ice cream, and you don’t get any. You may lose a contest to someone who did not deserve to win.  Life is not fair. Get over it.

You will recover faster and live better if you expect things to be mostly unfair. If you choose to live life with a positive attitude but do not expect others to reciprocate you will be better off. This is an attitude that allows you to continue to have peace in a world full of unrest and injustices. We can’t control the world or the people in it. We can’t make people be fair. We can only control our own attitude.

We live in a democracy and most of our laws and legal systems are designed for fairness, but sometimes they don’t work. Sometimes they are not fair. Sometimes the bad guys win. There are other countries where the laws are not based on fairness at all. They may be based on bribery or the ability to fight back or simply stay out of the way. There is nothing that guarantees fairness and the sooner we learn that the better off we are.

Keeping Score

Why do we try to keep score? Isn’t it because we want to manage some sort of control? If I do one right thing to you then that is one point. If this is a game or a war we can keep score to see who wins. Or perhaps we want to keep score to be sure there is equality. Control gives us an unbalanced view of equality. I do something for you, now I feel there is a debt to be paid. You owe me the same amount of credit. How do relationships grow when partners keep score? I made the bed but you didn’t take out the garbage so you don’t love me as much as I love you. Relationships don’t work when someone is keeping score. When I give 50% and you give 50% we are both only half into it. A good relationship happens when both partners give 110% always, but real life happens. People can’t always do that. Sickness, work, life and stress happens. If we are not keeping score love will still grow during times of deficit but if we always need it to be balanced and fair we are going to be really disappointed with life.

The idea of ultimate fairness breeds a sense of entitlement. I was a good person and now I am owed something because I was good. Shouldn’t we be good anyway? Isn’t goodness something that comes from within? Do we need to be rewarded for every good deed?

The world is full of people. Some do bad things without any provocation. Others are good people who do bad deeds due to a moment of weakness. Then there are the Mother Theresa’s of the world who do good without reward or recognition. We tend to remember the very bad and the very good. The very bad are too notorious to miss but why do we remember the very good? Isn’t it because they did not keep score? They gave of their life without a need for reciprocation and eventually someone noticed. There were many more who were never noticed. They did not do all of those good things to count on a big scoreboard. They did it because they were good and fair and they brought justice to the world around them. They added justice as a value to the people in their circle of influence and they did not rank or tally a score.

Living Without Expectations

Although I would love to see everything be fair in the world and I would love to make everything fair in my home and in my life, I am too realistic to believe that is going to happen. So I live life without that expectations of fairness. I have given up my sense of entitlement for fairness and it is incredibly freeing. Understanding that there is no balance makes life very balanced indeed. One does not need to live on an emotional rollercoaster. This philosophy removes anger from life. If we expect that hurting people hurt others and that they will react unfairly we no longer need to feel that we were singled out. We now realize that scorpions bite people because they are scorpions. We did nothing to deserve it. Life is unfair and there are scorpions who bite people.

Being Fair In An Unjust World

We can demand justice but that rarely works. Unjust people exist at every level of power in our lives. Kicking against the shins of authority never brings positive change. The better plan is to be a just person and work to become the person in authority. That is where one can implement change. Unfortunately a plan of delayed gratification takes more time than our sense of entitlement will often endure. Timing is everything. Timing wins the day, but it may not be the day you had imagined. It took many years for the Berlin Wall to come down and it may take many years for your unfair wall to crumble as well.

Think of how many oppressed peoples had to work for decades or centuries for change. Apartheid was wrong for as long as it existed. It didn’t change because someone decided one day that it was unjust. It was known to be unjust but changing it took the efforts of many and it happened when the timing was right. Nelson Mandela was in jail for 27 years unfairly, and his release did not mean that it was all over and justice would come swiftly. Today there are still major problems in South Africa long after Apartheid came to an end. There are injustices there now against the white minority and there are dozens of other races in conflict continuously. Changing the laws and making them more fair for some also made them less fair for others. The unfair ripple effects from the old way of doing things works against the plans to make things more fair today.

What Is Fair?

There is no such thing as equal balance. It may happen for a season as a government realigns or a new ideal comes to power but it does not take long for something to end unfairly in our human existence.

The fact is you can demand justice or you can live in a just way. You be fair. That is all we can do as individuals as situations warrant it. We can only change ourselves.

Pick your battles. Some you can bring change to right away and if that is possible it is a worthy endeavor. There are those battles however, that suck up your life and bring no change. Choose wisely where you will expend your energy. Sometimes you need to bring together a team of people to implement the change you desire. Sometimes you need to plan things out and take your time. Sometimes you need to let that dog lay quiet for a while and come back to it later when you have a bigger stick, and you have a chance to make a change.

How can you make the world a more just place to live in today? That is fair. Pick a battle you can win and give it a fair try. Be fair to yourself.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

 

My Own Reality

You may think that you are in a unique situation but everyone has something working against them.  No one has a license for failure. There are no excuses that are good enough to quit. We have bills that pile up. We have sickness and trauma. We have spouses that don’t understand or children that require time. We have relatives who are unsupportive and parents who don’t believe in us. We have had situations that did not work out and relationships that failed. We have been told that we can’t do it and that it isn’t worth it. We have jobs that are too demanding. We may have clients that want everything and yet want to pay for nothing. Get over it. Life is like that.

In our mind we have the freedom to accept whatever life throws at us as the facts or we can make the choice to decide to live in our own reality. I choose a reality of my own making.

In my reality I am already wealthy. I live in a big home. I actually know how big. I look at pictures of it. I drive a nice black Mercedes Benz. I have the respect of my children. I eat what I want to eat and I don’t worry about the price of the meal. I order drinks according to what I desire, not according to my budget. I buy things when I want them and I travel where I want to go. I think happy thoughts and enjoy my family. That is my reality inside of my head no matter what is going on all around me.

I live in the world with the rest of you, but I don’t eat the garbage that others try to feed me. I don’t hear them when they say that I won’t make it. I don’t panic when that bill is due. I don’t fret even when all hope seems to be lost. I know that I can’t afford to freak out. I know that I will get what I think about most, so even if things are not seeming to work out I continue to take authority over my thoughts and focus them on what I want instead of on what I have or even worse, what I don’t have.

In my reality things work out. In my reality money is not an issue. In my reality things that I need and want come easily to me. I allow myself to feel like a professional. I tell myself that success surrounds me. I place myself in the presence of movers and shakers and I encourage myself to fit in there. I look for ways to be of benefit to others without expecting anything in return. There is no judgement in my reality. There is no sense of entitlement. I expect nothing, yet I understand that everything that I want and need is already mine. There is nothing to prove to anyone. I have all of the authority that I need. It has already been given to me. I don’t need to work it up, or demand things, or control the situation. It already is what it is, and it is mine.

When things don’t work in my favour I don’t need to whine and fret. Life is like that and sometimes it needs to be informed of my reality. I have a good sense of delayed gratification. I know that it is coming. Sometimes the world needs to catch up with my reality. I have patience while I wait for it.

You may think I am a dreamer and that I need to wake up. You may think that I am deceived. I really don't care what you think. You don't pay my bills. You don't take care of my family. You may think your reality would help me but unless you are where I want to be, your reality would be very harmful to the success of my future. Therefore I chose my own reality. I hope you have the strength to resist reality and make up one that is better so you can be successful too. I hope you get around others who will empower you to create a more favorable reality.

My finances have dramatically increased over the last couple of years and I am positioned now for radical success. Life is good. I am glad that have created my own reality and that I am no longer caught up in the facts that keep others in bondage to disaster and discouragement.

I like my reality. It works for me. I am happy and content on a good day and on a bad day.

How is your reality working for you?


Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

Who Is In Control Of The Sale?

There are subtle aspects and techniques used in sales and in presentations that are rarely discussed. We assume that some people are just good in front of a crowd but in reality these are skills that can be learned and practiced until they become second nature.

It seems that it was 100 years ago when I learned these things but in reality it was only a quarter of a century ago. I was 18 and I was in sales. I had a mentor Russ, who was part of a dynamic business group that took an interest in developing young people to their full potential. He spent many hours training me on the small, subtle responses that a prospect reflects and that I would not have noticed without his guidance.

The World According To Russ Baldwin

As far as I know Russ never wrote a book, but Russ read many books. He was an ongoing wealth of resources always challenging me to read another biography, another self-help book, another book about business. He instilled in me a love of reading and for the kind of reading that would make a difference in my life. He asked about what I was reading. He had me stand in front of groups of people and promote the latest good book. He showed me how to find bite-sized nuggets of wisdom which now in this age of information overload has become a defining skill for increasing knowledge.

Russ taught me that “readers are leaders.” I completely bought into that and it has become a mantra of my own. I have to this day fed my own education and sought out the information that I needed to become credible with my peers and in industries and businesses where I did not have formal training. Russ showed me that I would set my own fate by the information that I fed my brain and that if I succeeded in leadership it would be because I had become something worthy of being followed.

The One Who Asks The Questions Is In Charge

Critical thinking is a good skill to have but thinking on one’s feet is often what keeps us in the lead. Have you ever been part of a conversation where you were trying to lead someone’s decision and they stumped you with a question? In sales we call these objections, and the unseasoned salesperson can become discouraged by a question that disarms them. The reality is however, that a question shows interest and it is even the first step in the buying process. How you answer the question is what determines if you are a professional or a novice.

A professional is never threatened by a question. It is a good sign to get a question. However, the expert realizes that he who asks the questions is in charge. This person has just taken ownership of the conversation and you are now in the position where you must defend with an answer. But do you defend? Have you tried that? How did that work out? Usually becoming defensive just causes a greater loss of control of the conversation. So a better response is always to ask another question and to regain control of the conversation.

I was in a presentation where a young leader was describing the advantages of doing business with his company. He did a good job. His powerpoint was well done. Everything looked good until he made the mistake of opening up the floor for questions. It was an open invitation for disaster and I cringed in anticipation even before the inevitable stream of negative began. He was going to allow and even encourage questions that would redirect the conversation away from the answers he was alluding to.

The first question came from a poverty-minded, negative, domineering person who immediately took control of the conversation and the room. She put him on the spot with a question that could be easily answered and in fact it should have been answered before he even allowed questions. So mistake number 1 was not answering the obvious objections that were sure to come. Mistake number 2 was letting her go on and on, and mistake number 3 was answering that drivel instead of asking a question in return. In fact, one simple question that interrupted her early in her diatribe would have ended the debate. He should have politely stopped her in a pause and asked just one question. He could have said, “That is a really good question, may I ask what you do for a living?”

In this case that would have been the perfect question because not only would any question take control back this particular person was unemployed and that would have immediately showed the room full of business people that this was not a credible person and by association then the question is not a credible question. Then any answer he may give to the question is simply out of being gracious and offered in a good spirited way of encouraging her and others who may have the same question.

While that may have been a great question for this situation, any question would work. Asking a question shows interest. It allows for positive interaction. It redirects any animosity and changes the course of the conversation. It flushes chunks of negative away. It puts the speaker back in charge of the room.

Out On A Sales Call

 
When I was out on sales calls with Russ back in my early twenties he showed me how to arrange the seating when sitting with a couple. They should be side by side so they are close and comfortable with the sales person across the table. If the salesperson is in the middle between them, then they are able to send each other negative signals and read each other’s body language in a way that is a detriment to the sale. She sees him cross his arms and perceives he is uncomfortable so she responds by showing disinterest. Or he sees her looking tense or rolling her eyes so he decides he is not interested before hearing any of the facts. If they are side by side they are both looking forward and making their judgements based on the presentation and on the subject matter that they are learning about. They can ask questions as they come up but they are real and legitimate questions out of sincere curiosity instead of out of manipulation by how they think their partner might be feeling.

These are simple techniques that keep the control of the sale in the hands of the salesperson. People will have questions and comments. That is natural and not a threat to a competent salesperson who understands the value of their product or service. It is not necessary to control the people, it is necessary to control the direction of the conversation. You are there to sell. You are not there to waste their time or yours. They let you into their life with the expectation that you had something of value to offer, so controlling your time and offering the item of value is the best practice.

Know what you can control and what you cannot. There are so many things you cannot control. You can’t control the dog that is barking. You can’t control the mother-in-law from dropping by. You can’t control the triggers that they have in their life from some past trauma or even another salesperson. You can control the number of people that you talk to, and you can determine how many you need to see to make your goals. Once you know that number you are free to be yourself, build relationships and bring value to your potential customers. You can control yourself. You make a decision to become a better you and control your growth and your expertise. You control your own learning to become a better salesperson. That is what truly allows you to control the sale!

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

 

 

 

 

Watch for our sales accountability training sessions offered on the CIBN website.

Thankfulness As A Lifestyle

I do love Thanksgiving but thankfulness is not just something for Thanksgiving Day, thankfulness is a lifestyle that will add value to you and to those around you.

Have you ever felt run down, tired and stressed out? Have you ever felt a knot in your stomach when a bill was overdue, or you just had a confrontation with someone? Have you felt overwhelmed? Do you get headaches and have pressure in your chest?

A few years ago I learned a very simple technique that helps keep perspective on the things that matter. Sit down and write down 5 things that you are sincerely thankful for. Think about those things. Suddenly you will feel all of that worry and torment start to lift off you.

When we dwell on the ugly in our lives or choose to see the problem instead of the solution we will drown in the emotional baggage department of a crashing airplane. Part of big picture thinking is keeping the things that we are thankful for right in front of us. The way we view things is imperative for our mental health and it is also important for our future successes.

Thanksgiving Dinner is great,
but an attitude of thankfulness is life changing and life giving!

I have met people who describe a family problem or a conflict with a relationship and they are totally focused on everything that is going wrong and everything that has went wrong in the past. They have a scorecard that they are using to total their hurts. I get it, the pain is very real, but if we stay there healing can never happen. I have a family too and we have had some challenges. One of my children has supplied me with many opportunities for real and lasting humility. But today I am really, really thankful because things are better. They are not perfect, but there has been a remarkable progress and things are changing. Some of those steps may seem small to an outsider. Some of the things that I am celebrating may not look like a victory to you. But I know where we were one year ago and I am very thankful that things are not that way today.

In business we sometimes make mistakes. Maybe we rush in too fast without getting all of the facts. Maybe we underestimate a need that we will have and we don’t prepare for it or we overestimate the market and invest too much time and money in an unprofitable experience. We hire people that don’t work out. We let others go when we really needed them. We didn’t get the marketing done and now the well is dry and no new customers are coming in. We seem to run out of time. We are stuck in the doing and there we are “in” our business, instead of “on” our business. We don’t own it; it owns us! It seems so futile…

But what are you thankful for? I am thankful that I am master of my own destiny. I am thankful that I am a business owner and not an employee. I am thankful that today I make the choices of whether or not to network or to market my business. I am thankful for the experiences of meeting new and dynamic business owners.

We had quite a journey to get to where we are today. It has been a real hike, up hill, in a snow storm, dragging a bag of rocks with our feet fettered together and a herd of cattle standing in our way. The journey though, has made us stronger, and for that I am thankful. There is more journey coming with more challenges, but we have learned to love life and enjoy the journey no matter what peril we must fight through. We choose to be happy because happiness is a choice. We choose to be thankful, because thankfulness is a choice.

Every Thanksgiving I think of the first Europeans who came to the shores of Canada and the US. The images of pilgrims and Native Americans have been burned into my brain since childhood. The school teachers must have done a good job with me because I can almost see it. I can feel their thankfulness. The idea of a harsh winter in foreign land. It meant impending death if there was not a bountiful harvest. That was the fate of pioneers and settlers for at least 200 years here in North America.

Now we can go to the grocery store any time of year and get mangos, pineapple, coconuts and fresh tomatoes any time of year. In Canada if we don’t make enough money to live we will have a government cheque slid under the door. It is hard to starve to death, so we forget. But really living is not so easy. There is more to life than just getting by. There are places to go and people to see and things to do. A life worth living is a life of real living. Stretch your mind to new heights. Start with thankfulness.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George 

Kerry George is the founder of www.Loyal2U.ca and the CEO for the Canadian Imperial Business Network www.cibn.ca  Kerry is a speaker, author and champion for small business in the Southern Alberta region. You can follow Kerry on Twitter @createloyalty2U or at @yycbiznetwork or @CIBNtweets or visit her page on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/KerryLynneGeorge

 

 

Fast Decision Making

Fast Decision Making

I recently put my finger on one other thing that has been making us grow quickly. Have you ever had to go to court? The lawyers are happy to put off for next month all that could have been done today. You have to endure at least a whole morning if you go to court. Nobody is motivated to make anything move faster. These people get paid more, the longer they take. Is anyone happy there? Can you see the frustration of a bloated system that has no corporate motivation to be profitable? They are cursed with too much money from a government source so they don’t require efficiency. If a new company were to operate like that, would they succeed?

Bureaucracy Decision Making

A government institution or an old company with lots of money has the luxury of bureaucracy. My company did not have that luxury and I thank God every day for it. We had no money. We had to make money. So we had to make fast decisions and stay light on the long winded discussion panels. It has made us sleek and profitable.

There are 3 partners at CIBN. We all are free agents with the ability to make decisions in our own area of expertise. If it falls into the area of one of the others we hook up that process immediately and let it go. I don’t second guess Zechariah’s decision to reject a potential member to one of his groups, or to place a member in a new group, or to book an event that will help the group grow. He is free to make a decision. He needs to be able to do what needs to be done to get a sale and he doesn’t need my permission to succeed. He already has it. Bob is a relationship builder. If a club needs a little more love, we send in Bob. Bob also works on processes behind the scenes. He handles banking and coordinates with the bookkeepers and he is free to make decisions. We communicate as a team every day and talk about the decisions we are making. We share why we feel we need to make those decisions and often we are asking each other for feedback but we never have to worry about emotional responses, manipulation, or dragging feet. We get things done.

Healthy Decision Making

I am the CEO of the CIBN. That means I have the power to decide. I oversee the marketing and give out the assignments to the printers, the writers, Loyal2U and I final edit the publications. I decide who goes into what spot and why. I meet with most of the sponsors of the network. We have packages which were put into place after research, but research was gathered, advisors were polled and a decision was made. If something does not work, I change it. I monitor it. I decide to try something else. I don’t need someone’s permission to do so. I don’t need someone’s permission to negotiate a deal or make a sale. We determined what the boundaries are for those things as a team and as long as I stay within those boundaries I don’t need to even discuss it. However, out of respect for my team I often do discuss it, or at least bring them up to date.

At CIBN we believe this is healthy decision making. Sometimes we do make a mistake and then we have to pay for it, but it is a known fact that leaders make decisions quickly and stick to their decisions. They only change course after a significant test trial. If prices are set and then we make sales, there is no point in changing the price, but we know that 100 people need to be approached before we can say with any certainty that the price point does not work. We make decisions based on facts but we decide quickly.

Disturbing Decision Making

In business though I see some disturbing things. I see sole proprietors that can’t make up their mind. Fear and indecision keeps them from moving forward. I see people quitting a project before they gave it a real chance. I see salesmen claiming their product is no good when they have not even had 20 appointments to present it. They are swayed by the decisions of a couple of naysayers. I have seen new members buy a membership, come twice and then not show up anymore because networking did not produce a referral in two meetings. They made a decision and now they don’t stick to it. They have no sense of delayed gratification so they miss the long term results. I see corporations with engineers and IT people as the CEO and that seldom works because they want to examine every decision and make it a month or six month process before they get all in. I see companies that are old or that have too much money tying the hands of their decision makers and slowing down what needs to be done to keep business coming in. I see salesmen that don’t know how to sell, or close. They can’t ask for a decision from their prospect. Sometimes it is because their company has not given them any wiggle room to negotiate so they make a decision to spice up the offer on the spot. They can’t get a quick decision from their potential client who would buy immediately if it could be done right now. Sometimes these sales people are uncomfortable in making their own decisions so they are even more uncomfortable “selling” or asking for a decision from their prospects.

Long and lean is the sales machine – one must be able to make a decision, or nothing gets done.

We did make some mistakes making quick decisions. So then we had to decide how to fix it. We made that decision and moved on rapidly. We are able to make decisions so we succeed faster than some who get bogged down in the long line of discussion.

Slow And Nasty Decision Making

Trying to work with companies that have no decision making processes or slow decision making processes is a frustrating endeavour. The fact is that some salesmen will recognize the long process of this sales cycle and invest in it, but a smart salesman gets a few of these in the funnel and then goes and looks for real business people who can make a real decision. A salesman will starve if he waits for the big one that might someday make a decision based on all the accumulated data that went through the repeated board meetings covering the same things over and over again. These processes hurt people. They cost money. They starve unsuspecting sales people who try to do business with them. They cost the money of the decision makers too because they could be spending that time more productively. It is just plain nasty.

A company that makes decisions this way is also sowing a dangerous seed. What we sow is what we grow. If you take six months to pay for something you could have paid for today others will do this to you. It is Karma or the law of attraction, or what comes around – goes around, or whatever you want to call it. I once had an engineer tell me that his company would pay me every 90 days. I responded that we would then begin the work in 90 days from now. We pay as quickly as we can. We move fast. Others move fast with us. That is the seed we sowed. It is making a really nice crop.

This week I had a discussion with a handful of entrepreneurs about this subject. Their viewpoint was enlightening. Each of them also make quick decisions that they typically stick with. Each of them expressed frustration with those who do not make quick decisions. Each of them acknowledged that they consider such drawn out behavior unprofessional. They compared it to government inefficiency. Each of them spoke of their longest termed business relationships as being with corporations that had a clear leader who had the ability to make a decision or who at least had a defined process to get an answer quickly. Some of them shared stories of firing CEOs that tied up the decision making process and how turn around happened immediately after someone had the courage to make a decision.

So I have added one more thing to what has caused us to have quicker than average success. We have the ability to make a decision and we decided to be successful.

If you need more facts, great... Ask more questions, gather more data, and then pool it together in a strategy meeting and make a decision. Learn to make decisions and feel comfortable with them, and if you cannot decide quickly, step down from the "ownership of decisions." Hire a CEO and let them lead, because in today's world everything is changing fast. Dinosaurs die because they move too slow. Social media changes daily. Being engaged is being ready to respond to situations but also to prepare in advance for what is coming. A decision maker is ahead of the curve, not continually responding to it in a knee jerk reaction.

Controlling Decision Making

If you have to feel like you are in control of every decision, I have a newsflash for you. YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL ANYWAY! Life, natural disasters, God, your spouse, your kids, your competition, your health and several other factors continually rebel against your control. Get over it. You have as much chance using a Magic 8 ball to make a healthy decision as you do from operating well out of a spirit of control. If you feel like you need to be in control, you are totally out of control and even worse oblivious to your own demise. Learn to overcome that by making decisions and allowing others on your team to make decisions. You will be glad that you did!

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

Kerry George is the CEO of the Canadian Imperial Business Network and the Calgary Business Network and she is a happy capitalist! Kerry works tirelessly bringing new value to the CIBN members and is always looking for methods to increase their bottom line. She is a speaker at many member events sharing knowledge about online marketing, sales techniques, motivation, LinkedIn, networking, entrepreneurship, and more. Kerry is a serial entrepreneur so she knows how to be a happy capitalist and how to create other happy capitalists in the CIBN!

 

Networking For New Business

Networking Is Key To Getting New Business

Networking was the single activity outside of marketing that blew doors open, brought us new clients, and increased our influence as well as our bottom line. We went to all kinds of networking events and we learned that none are better than others. All work, it is just that some work differently from others. In meetings where only four people showed up we wrote two major sales. At beer and wings events we met many people and they were added to our vortex immediately by connecting with them on LinkedIn. We began to love weekly referral meetings and learned to engage the whole group to become our own sales force. It was enjoyable and it was fruitful. It was a powerful tool when we met people online and then met them at a networking meeting and then again at a coffee shop.

Marketing Or Networking?

I am always baffled by those who ask me if they should spend their money on marketing or networking? That is like saying should I drink liquids or breath? Both are essential to life. I can't imagine trying to hang onto one while forsaking the other! Why would you choose?

Marketing must happen. It is the support behind the scenes for all other sales efforts. These days people look you up on Google so you better be there and be there a lot! Marketing produces all of the things that people see when you meet them through networking. What they find out about you online may determine why they decide to do business with you and it is the basis by which they compare you to your competitors. However, you can't make sales if you don't know anyone. Who you know is important. How well they know you is important. How they feel about you is important.

Networking Is About Relationships

Relationships are the main factor in networking. Some people get excited that they know someone famous online, but the real value comes with those we meet and really network with. An online relationship only goes so far. Some people put great value on their distance communication list and there is some merit in it, but don’t let the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger talks to you on LinkedIn deceive you into thinking you are somebody big locally. That is not the only basket you need eggs in. Who you know right here, right now, and how they feel about you is more important if you are a local business person.

Make friends. Play nice in the sandbox. Lean the rules of engagement because there are rules of engagement whether you realize it or not. If you want to succeed fast you need to know how to play the game. Giving is best. When in doubt give some more. Give time. Give value. Give referrals. Give yourself. Buy drinks. Hand out gifts. Shake hands. Look people in the eye. Smile. Give some more. This is how one builds relationships that matter.

You will make mistakes. You will inadvertently insult someone. Go apologize. Give that too. These are all lessons of networking and building relationships. You are a real networker when you have 200 people or more that you could call on the phone and say “Hey, I’m having a party” and they don’t ask “Who is this?” They just ask what they can bring. People want to be around a networker. They like others who invest in relationships.

Real networkers don’t just invite people to come to their deal. They can be successful inviting because they were already out attending. They went to the events, the private parties, the coffee meetings, the birthday gatherings, the Stampede Pancake Breakfast and the celebrations. They are widely connected because they left their office. There is a lot of work that goes in behind the scenes for next overnight sensation.

We made networking a lifestyle and it has significantly increased our bottom line. Bob Francis, Zechariah James and myself go to our own events, to others events, and we take in personal events. We plan them into our schedules, we coordinate with each other where we are going and who will cover which event. As a result we are writing larger business deals every month. We are becoming connectors who connect others to the people and things they need and we are teaching those valuable networking skills to our members at the CIBN as well.

Networking will help you to succeed faster and it brings you new business!

Marketing Makes A Difference

Marketing can’t wait until your product is ready to go to market. That is too late. At that point you NEED sales and a needy sales person can’t sell very well. The pressure is too great. So marketing has to start early.

It is wonderful if you have the money to get a nice fat marketing package, build a brand, get everything perfect and then start a systematic approach but the reality is most small business owners don't start that way. Most start with a skill or an idea. They get busy doing and then they find some customers and then when they realize they have something that sells they look around and consider that they want a bigger piece of the pie. Now they think of marketing. Sometimes it is too far into the process and they are already in financial trouble. Or perhaps they have a large client so they don't think there is a need to spend the money, but marketing is essential to ongoing success. It needs to start right away, it needs to continue when times are good, and it needs to already driving business towards you when that one big client does a sudden exit.

Marketing Does Not Have To Be Expensive

I had no money at all three years ago, but fortunately I had some social media skills that others did not have yet. I used these skills on my own business as well as for clients and that got the ball rolling. I could not afford radio, TV, newspaper so there simply was no dispute about where to spend marketing dollars. That proved to be a good thing because while others were debating the merits of social media I had no choice but to put my all into it and fortunately it worked magically. We became our own best customer. We drank our own koolaid. Later when Loyal2U would sell our services we could say with confidence that Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn when used properly will get your phone ringing. The fact that we were still in business was proof positive. If it did not work we would have been in the 80% that had failed. We only used social media marketing. We never used anything else.

Social Media Marketing Is Effective

Later when I began growing the Calgary Business Network and then the Canadian Imperial Business Network we hired Loyal2U to do our marketing. For the networks we continued to only use social media marketing. Our phone rings every week, many times a week. When they call, they are looking to attend a meeting or buy a membership on the spot. The marketing works.

We used to have to prove that it works every day to every potential client. Now more and more people are hearing success stories and social media marketing is becoming more accepted as a viable marketing option. While some are still ingrained in archaic methods, most forward moving companies have at least the basics in place.

Marketing Can Be Integrated Across Multiple Platforms

Many of the Loyal2U clients came to us already using magazine articles, radio, web design and promotional events. We learned exciting ways to integrate their marketing with the online work that we were doing through social media, blogging and YouTube.

Marketing also included having business cards, brochures, sales support pieces, and being sure that the website answered the necessary questions. The CBN inherited our websites in acquisitions and again had little money for making them the perfectly designed platform. So we did the best we could and we made sure that they were at least clean with good information. That was enough. The social media marketing added to that was what made the difference. Every week tweets and posts were consistently made. Blogs were written. Publications were created. A funnel of activity was produced and it began to pay off in a short period of time.

Good Marketing Assists The Sales Process

Marketing makes the sales job easier. It takes at least 7 touches to get the sale. If a person has already seen you on Facebook, looked at your Linkedin profile, and read your blog they have been touched 3 times before they even met you. It is now easier to get to the 7^th touch. The sales cycle is shortened. Marketing is key to your business success. You must invest in it, and there is a cost to a successful marketing program. Time and money are necessary. Many companies make the mistake of investing thousands of dollars into their product and do not prepare the market to receive their product. The stage needs to be set and followers need to be gained so that when the announcements of new products come there is a group of connected people listening to that message.

At first we had no money so we put in lots of time and then we were able to hire a couple of people to help out and we put more time and money into it. Now it is a free flowing vortex of activity. But why wouldn’t you do it? Why would you spend thousands of dollars on a facility, IT, infrastructure and other things but not invest in your marketing? We spent more money on marketing that on any other expense and that is what made the difference. It is one of three things that we now tell people has created success for the CIBN network and our other affiliations.

We hope that you put some priority on your marketing. Tell us how you are doing.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

<

Vision Takes Time

I remember a year ago sitting down to brainstorm on an idea called The Excalibur Sponsorship Program. We thought we were pretty smart and that this was such a no-brainer that everyone would get it right away. We did market research. We analysed potential strengths and weaknesses of the program. We considered who would be a good fit for the opportunity. Certain that everyone we wanted would join us immediately we prepared materials, we got our statistics in order and we trained our staff. Sounds like a fairly well thought out plan, doesn't it?

Even a good plan takes time to implement and ours was no different. Walt Disney discovered that it can take years for your great idea to catch on. Mickey Mouse and Fantasia were decades ahead of the public, fortunately though Walt had other ideas that sustained his growth while the common man caught up to him.

Last year I encountered an individual who had an idea to create a new kind of company. It sounded like a good idea to me but frankly I have no idea if they did diligence or not. They did put a tremendous amount of time into the project and then just before the product launched the person’s sister discouraged them from continuing. Based on the “expert” advice of an unemployed naysayer that had never made more than the poverty level in 40 years of earning potential the project was shelved. Probably that was for the best because if one cannot withstand the verbal assault of a relative one certainly can’t withstand the onslaught of strangers who may actually be professionals. Was the project a dud though? We will never know.

There will always be those who do not agree with you. If you are sticking your head above the crowd you can expect someone to take a shot at you. It is the nature of humanity. Remember that nobody ever accomplished anything great without discomfort, but if the vision is strong, your persistence will prevail. The journey of vision is difficult but the rewards are worthy of the endeavour. 

Write your vision down. Think about it often with focus. Care for it and protect it from those who would bring damage to it. Work the steps that take you closer to it's completion.

Everything worthwhile takes effort and consistency. Count the cost and if you want the end result, get to work. Vision is not going to be attained in a fortnight. Vision is a long term arrangement. It takes bigness of character to develop vision and a hero-like fortitude to accomplish it. Strategies can be thought out over weeks or months but implementing the plans can take decades. One needs to know their road, accept their road with surety, and then put one foot in front of the other until they finish. If one sees the journey as the end result one never really gets there – they just enjoy the process…

Vision takes take time to accomplish, but I hope you have the biggest vision ever and that you consider it worthy of your pursuit.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

"A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done.”   — Ralph Lauren

A vision is a bigger picture than just a mission statement. The vision is the broader version. This video clip explains the difference between a vision and a mission statement. We can have these over aspects of our life as well as for our business. They are useful tools to identify priorities. Just remember that the vision takes time to accomplish!

The Danger Of Too Many Income Streams

There is a danger in too many income streams.

When I first got into business I was given a lot of bad advice. Most of the bad advice was camouflaged in layers of what seemed to be good advice. These things sounded like good ideas on the outside but the reality was they did not work, or they would not work for me, so I had to figure that out. Unfortunately the journey takes a lot of time and work and one can die on the trail of good ideas if they get lost there simply because real income is not being made in the process.

One of these seemingly good ideas was this one of having multiple income streams. It sounds good. Who wouldn't want to be diversified. This makes sense because: 

• If one is only in one country doing business we can be taken out by one disaster that happens locally.
• You appeal to more people if you have more product lines.
• You can reach more people with a variety of ventures.
• If you lost one source of income you would have another to replace it.
• You can use one source of income for living and another one as your savings, or your investment fund, or your educational fund, or whatever you need as a safety net.
• There is power in leveraging. Whether that means having more money to leverage, or having the skills of many people working with you in a network marketing venture. Leverage is a good thing.

If I had a job, I would definitely want a side business to protect me from losing my employment. I would want the tax advantages of owning my own business and I would want to get more back that I paid needlessly to income taxes.

So if all of this is true. What is the danger of too many income streams?

The danger in this ADHD world is a lack of focus. One can get too busy doing too many good things and never focus. Real, lasting success and success that produces income really happens as a result of focus. So anything that takes you away from your mission in life is not a good idea after all, no matter what it sounds like or looks like on paper.

Are you going to change your whole life to put your focus into the new venture? If the answer is “yes” and you can do it with all your heart, then go for it, but you will have to let other things go. Focus on the new idea and give it the opportunity to give you success in it. Otherwise it is not profitable to change course or to even shift off the course you are on by a little bit. A ship that is off mark by even 1% will arrive at the wrong destination.

Does the new idea go with the other big idea that is your real focus? If it is complimentary and does not take a lot of time there may be a reason to add it to your portfolio, but you need to count the cost before you begin to build. Are you already doing most or some of the things required? Is there someone you could partner with or bring in to do some of the additional work? How realistic is their involvement level going to be? Can you hire and pay someone to handle the excess workload? With partnering or hiring it may be a good fit if it works alongside what you are doing, but questions need to be asked and answered before beginning.

How many things can you do? Most people can do one or two well. A few people can do four or five things well, but usually as one of those things gets busier the others lag for need of attention. Then one needs to be able to delegate. Do you have anyone you can delegate these tasks to? If the answer to that question is “no” then you need to STOP adding more to your plate. You don’t need many good income streams, you need a couple of good income streams that have commonalities so you can manage them better.

Self-made millionaires have a common story. They were intensely focused for a period of their lives to attain what they have. While others yacked about balance, these people lived very focused and unbalanced lives for 2-25 years to get to where they are. They gave up other things. They said “no” to many good ideas and said “yes” to other ones that fit their long-term vision. While others jumped from company to company, they stayed focused. While others got into every multi-level business that came along, they said “no” to most and occasionally “yes” to one that added some kind of value to their existing plan. If it did not work, they learned quickly and moved on. They created seasons in their life where their focus may have shifted from business operation, to real estate investment but they stayed focused on the big picture. They bought and sold but they stayed true to their passion.

It is good to have options but too many income streams can make you lose focus.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

Here is Tyler Perry talking about how he focused on one thing for a long time and then he had a breakthrough. It will inspire you!

Cashflow 101 For Cash Flow

Last night I got together with a group of friends and played the game Cashflow 101 created by Robert Kiyosaki. It was amazing. If you ever get the chance to play it, I highly recommend it. The board reminds one of life and all of the challenges that come up to try and limit your profits and restrict your cash flows. You are stuck in this purgatory state  called the Rat Race until you can get your passive income higher than your total expenses. The game really got me thinking about what really creates cash flow in real life.

Over the last couple of years I have been learning a lot about cash flow and revenue and I thought I was getting a better grip on it all, but last night I learned something important. It seemed that revenue should be going up but this nasty number under the “passive income” category was barely going up, while the “total expenses” number had no problem climbing. It was infuriating until I figured out that “passive income” was different than “total income.” In life it means that “passive income” is not the same as “revenue.”

Revelation #1 - Revenue must be worked for - every month. Revenue is dependent on something happening. This morning I got up and examined all of my business interests. Guess what I found? All of my brilliant ideas from the last two years have not been that brilliant after all. Just about all of them are revenue based. So every time I try to get ahead I use the method of producing more sales, which produces more work as those clients need to be maintained. Revenue has a cost in time, labor and thought every month. I have four businesses that produce revenue. Each business has an expense list almost as high as the total income. It feels a lot like last night as we all were struggling to get out of the first area of play to get into the big area where our dreams were waiting to be found.

Revelation #2 - I need more passive income. I need to invest in things that bring in money every month without a high cost of time, effort and thought. I need little money slaves that are working to bring in more while I sleep. I need to pay attention to these possible opportunities. I need to have an open mind but I must also be shrewd about my focus. I can’t afford to chase rabbits. It has to fit into the current plan without a huge effort but yet produce more passive income. Not every deal is a good deal. Not every good deal on the table is a good deal for me. One must examine each opportunity and carefully consider if it will indeed produce passive income.

Revelation #3 - I don’t know anything about real estate, stocks, mutual funds, or investments. I do know and understand business to some degree but I am empty of all investment knowledge. It is time to go learn something. We can all try to pretend we are smart, but the reality will show up somewhere. The fact is, I have to admit I don’t know enough about these things. Those with millions of dollars of passive income do know these things. I can convince myself I am just fine and smart enough, or I can admit the truth and grow. Pride will keep me where I am at.

Revelation #4 - Playing this game changed the way I thought. Playing it more will help critical thinking. I now know that I need to raise my passive income. What will I learn next week when I play the game again?

I challenge you to try this game. You will learn things you never knew you needed to know. We are going to keep meeting to play it. If you are in Calgary and you want to come give me a call. I will get you invited to an evening out with a bunch of crazy, excited business people who want to learn a little more and go a lot further.

 

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

403-397-1909

 

What Makes The CIBN Different From Other Business Networking

Are You Ready For Change?

I was watching Brad Pitt in World War Z and he made a statement about people surviving a disaster better if they stay on the move. It was the overall theme of the movie The Croods as well. Change was uncomfortable but necessary for survival. The fact is, that is just as true in business as it is in war or Armageddon.

One of the problems that I see many people struggling with is the need to change. Change is uncomfortable. We don’t like it. We don’t want to move. We want everything to be the way it always has been even if it has been bad. We would rather work with the devil we know than try to figure out how a new devil will deal with us.

It is weird really, because we are in a life that is full of changes. Change is all around us in the seasons, and in the seasons of our own lives, but we fight against it. The young adult who doesn't want to leave the house, and the mother who suffers with empty nest syndrome are sufferers in change.

Business owners also struggle with change. It is one of the things that make an entrepreneur different from a business owner. Anyone can own a business. Anyone can go through the day to day mundane tasks and even reach a measure of success by keeping things static, but an entrepreneur is a starter. They take risks. They try new things. They learn about new ideas and they want to try them. Sometimes they are dragging spouses, employees, accountants and other Croods who like everything stable along behind them.

If things are good, there may seem to be no need for change. Yet, we are moving forward, or going backwards in reality. Competition could be gaining on us if we are staying where we are. It is harder to hit a moving target. So change may be a very good thing. Tweaking may be all that is necessary but even tweaking can only be done if we are open to changes.

How do you know if your business needs some changes? Do you have a working strategy? Do you have a business plan and are you planning to use it? Have you compared your business to your competitors? Are there areas where you could expand? Are you measuring the cost of your product vs the profit? How do you know this is as effective as it can be? When was the last time you checked the industry prices on the widgets that you need? Are you sure you are using the best technology? When did you last compare new technologies? Are your staff trained to ask these questions or are you hoping they will come up with these good ideas on their own?

Speaking of employees, are they growing? Is working for your company enriching their lives or just trading them dollars for hours? Do you want the cost of replacing them? Have you considered training that would increase their value to you? Does your sales team have all that is needed to succeed? How do you know?

Do you need a business coach to stretch you to the next level? Do you need a better bookkeeper or a virtual assistant to help track your sales results? Do you need a brainstorming session or a MasterMind sales group to get you thinking outside of the box and moving forward again? What do you need? What do you need to change to get what you need as a result? How do you know?

Is the phone ringing with new business? Are your customers happy? Are you feeling fulfilled? Are your employees at the top of their game and excited about coming to work?

What are you leaving on the table for your competitors? How do you know?

Watch the numbers and change if you need to. By the way, you need to change. You already know it, but are you ready for change?

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

403-397-1909

PS…

If you need any of the above mentioned people call me. I know a lot of people in the Calgary region. I can connect you to an expert in any field who can help you improve your bottom line.

Did You Know You Are In Sales?

I recently finished reading the book “To Sell Is Human” by Daniel H. Pink and it reminded me once again that most people don’t know they are in sales. That has always baffled me. I am not sure why some don’t want to be called a salesperson. You would think that it is obvious we all need to move someone to action daily and that most of our interactions with others is a sales job of some kind. Arlene Dickinson points this out in her latest bestseller “Persuasion” as well.

So I get that someone you met in your past was a shyster and you don’t want to be labeled with the same paint brush. I understand that you feel that you paid for an education but we know now in this changing world an education does not guarantee one a career. Things are moving fast. Technology is moving us. The thing is though even if we are in a hot market and business seems to be coming fast, somebody is selling something in order for that to happen. New ideas have to be sold.

Business owners are salespeople, even if they don’t realize that is what they are doing. They will become successful and stay successful if they acknowledge that fact and hone those skills.

How many times have I met a consultant who became a consultant because they had one good contract. What happened at the end of the contract? They either went back to being an employee or they learned to sell their service real fast.

Selling is not greasy. It is not mysterious either. It is simply sharing and then asking for the sale. There are many techniques to share and also many ways to ask for the sale, but that is how it breaks down. Learning the skills just takes some focus.

Over the years I have been a student of many of the masters in the art of selling. I have worked and worked on my sales ability because I have seen it as a staple in my diet to create success in my life. I have to deal with people every day. Some are motivated, and some are not. Some like me, and some do not. Some want my products, and others do not. Some want to do business with me, and there are those that do not. So if I had an interaction to move someone ten times a day and I went from moving 1 out of 10 to moving 2 out of ten that would double the impact that I was having no matter what I was trying to persuade them to do.

I am passionate about selling. Once one realizes that this is what we are it becomes easy. It is fun. It is even an exciting challenge.

This fall I am even going to participate in a MasterMind group focused on improving my sales ability. Would you like to embrace the experience of a lifetime and stretch to a new level? Want to join me?

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

 

Just for fun this is a great video on how NOT TO SELL! The typical stereotype of the badgering salesman show just how wrong it can be done. We WILL NOT be learning his techniques in our MasterMind sessions. :)

 

Canada Day

Today I reflect on what it means to me to be Canadian. I grew up in Saskatchewan on a farm where my father loved the land. Planting and harvesting was in his blood and his family had been on the continent for a hundred years already. My mother’s dad Grandpa John Cerniuk was a first generation Ukrainian immigrant. The oldest of 16 children who married a bride of English decent and raised 5 kids of his own. My Grandpa had a profound effect on my life growing up. He was Ukrainian so I took Ukrainian dancing for nine years. He took me and my brother fishing and gave us a love of the outdoors and for camping. He had fought in the Second World War so I joined Cadets and then the military when I was old enough to enlist. He installed a great love for our country into me.

Today I love all things Canadian. I paint my nails red and white more than any other color. I cry when I hear the national anthem or the sound of bagpipes. My teenagers know that gifts for Christmas and birthdays will be more meaningful to mom if they come from Canada, display the flag, or are red and white.

One of the things that I enjoy the most on Canada Day is not necessarily the parades and the community events. Those are nice and I do take them in sometimes, but my favorite thing to do in Canada is enjoy the national monuments, the historical places and the beautiful outdoor locations. Bar U Ranch, Fort McLeod, Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump and Frank’s Slide are a few that I like here in Southern Alberta. Every summer we take road trips to Banff or even just through the Kananaskis on a weekend. I feel it is important to remember who we are and what we are all about. When I travel to other parts of Canada it is those things that I love to see. Where did we come from? It is a good question that helps to anchor us so we know where to go next.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

 

Turner Valley Bridges Washed Out

When I moved to Turner Valley in 2000 I found it to be a beautiful  community but I did not want to live there. Why? It is surrounded on every side by rivers and these rivers have been known to flood. I had small children then. The boys were  5 and 2 and I had a 6 month old baby girl. The thought of being cut off from the world in a natural disaster was one of the primary reasons I chose to make my home in Black Diamond. Even as they grew older I just thought of it as prudent. I am a single mother and one can never be too safe.

This week we have seen evidence of this. A creek runs through Millarville and that creek crosses under Highway 22. This week it was no small creek. It was a raging torrent of angry water that was impassible. The bridge was not safe. There are two other accesses to Turner Valley. One that goes south where a large bridge passes by the old gas plant, and the other is on Highway 22 going to Black Diamond. The Sheep River is the waterway flowing under both of the bridges in both directions. This week the Sheep River was a km wide in most locations. Therefore Turner Valley was cut off from the world, and then it got even worse because the bridges washed out.

The only way out is by helicopter and some are getting out that way. Thursday morning as an H2S leak was announced I am sure there were many in Turner Valley beginning to panic. Toxic gases that kill added to the fact that you are stranded can’t be comforting. Many of us in the community have felt that plant needs to be cleaned up for years. It was the first natural gas plant in Alberta and it should be a provincial landmark. It actually provided gasoline to the tanks in World War II so maybe a little attention due to the flood will end in a good thing there.

It could be week before people in Turner Valley have access to the rest of the world again. The bridges are gone and the damage around the river is unbelievable. There is the rocks and the trees and the grass but then there are the homes, the roads, the businesses. Millions and millions of dollars to rebuild from the destruction.

Is there an answer for the next time? Not likely. These are mountain rivers. Powerful and mighty they make their own course and determine their own paths. We can’t brick up the sides like they do in the east. There is no amount of structure or concrete that will change their mind. The concrete slabs and the culverts are all on the banks now as evidence of our futile tries from the past. If we want to live here these are the challenges we will face. It is that simple.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

You Are Beautiful!

Recently I heard Kelly Faladeau speak for the first time. Wow. If you ever have a chance to hear her you need to take it in. Kelly is a burn survivor. When she was very little she suffered burns to most of her body and has scars as a result. Her message of self-image and beauty coming from within was absolutely powerful.

The key message was that you are beautiful just the way you are. You may think that you are fat, or ugly or that your hair isn’t nice or your body type is wrong but you are unique. There is only one you and you are a gift to those who are around you.

She told some great stories of internet dating and anyone who has ever tried it would be able to relate. As I listened I was reminded of meeting someone online myself a few years ago. We spoke for four months and then planned that he would come and meet me and my children here in our community. I wanted this man to find me attractive, so I worked out, I walked every day, I starved myself and ate rabbit food for months. He got here and he was irritable within 24 hours. At one point he spoke of all of the horrible things his mother did to him and then compared me to her. Then he told me I was fat and that my photographs were deceptive. Nice, eh?

I was in pretty good shape but it was still pretty painful. Kelly talked about that and encouraged us as women to make changes in our lives because it was what we wanted. Not what somebody else wants from us. That is good advice. If we change our appearance because it gives us joy then someone else's ideas will affect us very little, but if we change for them and they are destructive anyway it can be devastating.

We would all like to believe that another person's opinion does not matter. If our self-image is strong it matters less. We may take note, but we move on quickly. Still words can hurt. Especially if we tie ourselves to someone who uses words as a weapon. The daily onslought will make the most gorgeous girl wither and die inside. Fortunately I had already learned that lesson and did not get involved with the insulting American mentioned above.

A few years later I met another man. He was very rich, successful, brilliant and handsome. He was a business associate who started texting me one afternoon about how beautiful I was. His words surprised me. I felt frumpy. I was 40 pounds overweight and did not feel like the sex goddess that he was implying. He told me that he could have any woman that he wanted (which was true) and that he did not like skinny little women who had small butts. He told me that my intelligence was sexy and that I was a gift. He made me feel alive again and after that I realized my value as a woman. It meant a lot to me to hear someone say those things and it did a lot for my self-esteem. I realized that day that I have a lot to give and that gift should not be squandered on someone who does not appreciate it.

I consider myself to be a pretty strong person, but I note that a compliment makes me feel good just like anyone else. We are not above reaction are we? I may not NEED continual flattery but I can acknowledge that it does feel good to get noticed once in a while. We would not be human if we were without all emotion. That being said however, the rule of thumb that I use in my life is to appreciate and understand that I do already have value. I don't live to hear about it from others. I believe that line of thought will be helpful to you as well.

Enjoy the beauty that you are, and know that beauty comes from within. Build on character because character lasts. The boobs will sag, the eyes will get crows-feet, and when you are eighty-five nobody is checking out your rear end. People will remember you because of the joy that you brought them in their life. They may even remember your wisdom, but they won’t be sitting around talking about you after you died remembering that you  in your forties you gained weight.

Enjoy who you are. You are unique. You are beautiful.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

 

PS. Here is an article 10 Georgeous Women Deemed Too Fat