You Are Beautiful!

Recently I heard Kelly Faladeau speak for the first time. Wow. If you ever have a chance to hear her you need to take it in. Kelly is a burn survivor. When she was very little she suffered burns to most of her body and has scars as a result. Her message of self-image and beauty coming from within was absolutely powerful.

The key message was that you are beautiful just the way you are. You may think that you are fat, or ugly or that your hair isn’t nice or your body type is wrong but you are unique. There is only one you and you are a gift to those who are around you.

She told some great stories of internet dating and anyone who has ever tried it would be able to relate. As I listened I was reminded of meeting someone online myself a few years ago. We spoke for four months and then planned that he would come and meet me and my children here in our community. I wanted this man to find me attractive, so I worked out, I walked every day, I starved myself and ate rabbit food for months. He got here and he was irritable within 24 hours. At one point he spoke of all of the horrible things his mother did to him and then compared me to her. Then he told me I was fat and that my photographs were deceptive. Nice, eh?

I was in pretty good shape but it was still pretty painful. Kelly talked about that and encouraged us as women to make changes in our lives because it was what we wanted. Not what somebody else wants from us. That is good advice. If we change our appearance because it gives us joy then someone else's ideas will affect us very little, but if we change for them and they are destructive anyway it can be devastating.

We would all like to believe that another person's opinion does not matter. If our self-image is strong it matters less. We may take note, but we move on quickly. Still words can hurt. Especially if we tie ourselves to someone who uses words as a weapon. The daily onslought will make the most gorgeous girl wither and die inside. Fortunately I had already learned that lesson and did not get involved with the insulting American mentioned above.

A few years later I met another man. He was very rich, successful, brilliant and handsome. He was a business associate who started texting me one afternoon about how beautiful I was. His words surprised me. I felt frumpy. I was 40 pounds overweight and did not feel like the sex goddess that he was implying. He told me that he could have any woman that he wanted (which was true) and that he did not like skinny little women who had small butts. He told me that my intelligence was sexy and that I was a gift. He made me feel alive again and after that I realized my value as a woman. It meant a lot to me to hear someone say those things and it did a lot for my self-esteem. I realized that day that I have a lot to give and that gift should not be squandered on someone who does not appreciate it.

I consider myself to be a pretty strong person, but I note that a compliment makes me feel good just like anyone else. We are not above reaction are we? I may not NEED continual flattery but I can acknowledge that it does feel good to get noticed once in a while. We would not be human if we were without all emotion. That being said however, the rule of thumb that I use in my life is to appreciate and understand that I do already have value. I don't live to hear about it from others. I believe that line of thought will be helpful to you as well.

Enjoy the beauty that you are, and know that beauty comes from within. Build on character because character lasts. The boobs will sag, the eyes will get crows-feet, and when you are eighty-five nobody is checking out your rear end. People will remember you because of the joy that you brought them in their life. They may even remember your wisdom, but they won’t be sitting around talking about you after you died remembering that you  in your forties you gained weight.

Enjoy who you are. You are unique. You are beautiful.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

 

PS. Here is an article 10 Georgeous Women Deemed Too Fat