Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Dealing With The Needy Ones...


I was sitting in an office listening to a colleague take a call that seemed to go in a rather brisk direction. A salesman was also there and we were having our own discussion while we waited for my colleague to get off the phone. As the conversation got more intense we stopped talking because it was just too interesting to politely ignore. Finally my colleague gets off the phone and says, “sometime it is just difficult dealing with stupid #&*%@&!!! people!” The tradesman and I both burst out laughing because it really was funny to hear a professional man of such integrity to come undone like that. We were both surprised at his outburst. He looked at us both incredulously and then said, “Why do we have to candy coat it? When someone is stupid, they are stupid!”

He then went on to describe without naming any names the needy client that all business owners,  entrepreneurs, and sales people dread. You know the one I mean. The one that you bent over backwards to get everything right for and they just refused to be satisfied. The one that calls you after hours and on weekends to ask about little details that are already being covered. The one that agrees that it is just what they want before they have it, but once it is done to their specifications it is slightly the wrong shade of color. The one that always wants more than what they paid for. The fact is that they are plain needy and now that they have given you money for a job they feel that you are the one that should fill that need. This is the one that you want to be sure signed a contract so there is no dispute about what you need to do and what they need to do and where the boundaries are, nice and plain. You may need that later…

The thing is when you work a job and you have an employer you need to learn to get along with these people. You often have no choice. Your paycheck may depend upon it. If you are unlucky enough to have a boss who behaves this way you are really hooped. The micromanaging may even cause your blood pressure to rise and make you sick. I had a friend who ended up in the hospital due to a “needy” boss.

If you have a significant other in your personal life like this that is a whole other challenge. How can you get around this? It can be a noose around your neck making it horribly hard to function. I would recommend getting and applying the book “Boundaries.”

The neat thing as an entrepreneur and business owner though, is that we do not have to keep working with these people. We actually can “fire a client.” It is not a bad thing to do so. We want to maintain clients and satisfy clients as much as possible, but if the relationship is becoming so expensive in our time, our emotional energy, or our resources we need to examine it carefully. It is the end of the year and it is time to do a little housecleaning in our businesses. Remember when we scrape things off our plate it leaves empty space that can be filled with fresh and wonderful things. So don’t be afraid to let a few things go.

Maybe you have a client that needs things you can’t offer. So give them away. Find someone who can easily and willingly meet those needs.

Maybe you have a client who needs a therapist, or even just a friend who they can unload on. Hook them up with someone else who can fill that void.

Don’t get hung up on what they pay you. Do the work you were paid to do and then give them away or just let them go. Be gentle if you can, but some needy people need to be told very plainly. “No. We are done here.” Thank them for their business and move on. It is a harsh reality but it is one of the lessons a business owner needs to learn to succeed. You need to make space for clients you can really please. You need to look after your own mental health so you can create. You have to keep your own oxygen mask on when you are in a crisis because every employee is like a child that you have care of. They need you to stay alive and stay moving so they can get paid. Don’t feel bad about hard choices that you must make for the greater good. Look after yourself.

Always Loyal2U,

Kerry George

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